Smile out loud =)

2009-06-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

Exam dah habis DOH! ahah

2009-05-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Ive lost the will
God forgive me..give me the strength

I'm not doing too well

It feels like it'll never end

From practically hitting the ground running to walking to crawling n now to dragging myself to the finish line :(

Anyways everything around me has been so depressing lately..i feel heavier than ever

Maybe if i close my eyes tight and wish really hard, i might open my eyes to a drum-kit :(

Oh how i miss the freedom of having sticks in my hands, tunes in my head and beating away all my worries n troubles..n yea anger

"The drumset, my sanctuary" so i used to say..id be lucky now to get even 10 mins to play on my own . I guess theres always the good in it, ive gotten to explore more instruments

Isn't it gorgeous..

A close of mine had just gotten mugged by two men with a parang..got injured in the process..definitely glad he is ok.. =) welcome to the rob thomas gang (inside joke)

And to dear kuk..i feel i wasnt much help.. i didnt feel like i gave good advice nor did i cheer u up n got ur mind off it..cudnt reli entertain ya n make u laugh ..but im glad ur taking it strongly n moving on..remember i got ur back ya babe ..buddie!

Oh! n to man utd fans..AhahA! u LOST =P

I MISS U.. Im sorry for being busy .Love you so much...

2009-05-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

DISAPPOINTED

One down 7 to go !

2009-05-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

~ The thoughts in my head are the voices of torment~ -N.virik

DEEP SH*T. Thats what im in now. Exams are on wed n the past month bore more than a few emotional struggles. shall update on that later on

Probably wun be updating much till exams are over.. so cheers! im off

2009-04-11T03:55:00.000-07:00

study break = life break.....

Dear diary...

my dog vomited on me today haha.. rather not elaborate..

its been awhile ya .. so lets start off with few things. Firstly,

Happy Birthday Adam..........POK!!(sry cudnt help myself)

This is Adam after a nite out at ole-ole bali n halo bali lol..which explains the coconut..but not reli the happy new year sign lol..had a goodnite out btw, even the club was a lil to cramp n the music was way too loud.. XD!

K la nyway,next up is i m to rot in my house for a month n study..i hope i do come out alive ,depression n murder free..AS is in a month time n im doubting with the rate im going, that i cover everything but i know i do my best ..God'll do the rest..

Um worst part is my bday is during the break..so im imagining it wouldnt be a good bday..spending my day at home studying, away from my baby, away from my friends... probably getting forced gifts from my family..n ppl wishing me just for courtesy sake..

But noe what? i might just be wrong lol..

This really creative card kai bing made for me...THX BING!!

She sed just incase i dun see u during the break,i made u this...i quite touched noe bing! Anyway thx alot for it..appreciate it

Anyway my update ends here.. Good Luck yea S1 study ur ass off

2009-03-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

I Love u babe! Missed u so much
Havent felt this happy in a long time
This is definitely going to keep me going..u made my week =)

2009-03-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

The potential of a day doesnt make up for actually has been done..

MY procrastination has become a harmful habit. Its obvious my short span of attention will only lead to my downfall.."time to buck up niven" i tell myself like a million times with no results. This isnt highschool no more,alot of money has been spent with very good results expected back

I pressure myself because the fear of disappointment haunts me.I rather not even imagine the face of disappointment on my family..Ghauvi..n worst off myself. Theres anxiousness strongly going about in me but the lack of discipline doesnt really make much of it..So what if i feel scared n nervous n motivated but am not able to sit myself n be serious with what im studying..

Time is running out..someone please put a gun to my head and sit me at my desk!!
Am even considering a peer tutor..Im desperate

Life and Love with the world's worst dog

2009-03-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

Seriously heart aching movie..especially for dog owners. I knew what i was getting myself into with the fact glory having passed away recently. Couldnt hold back my tears cause it reminded me so much of glory...had her for 6 7 years..i really fail at trying tu cover macho infront of my friends haha

Probably not one of the best pics of her nor the cutest..she was a mongrel n im not exaggerating when i say she really did have a very unique character. A no nonsense dog..fierce n vicious to starngers but a total manja pot to us. That made her such a good watch dog,a good dog overall..possesive,tough n lethal...she is 3 times smaller than a german shepherd but that never stopped her from actually taking one down,owh how funny it was tu see the german shepherd scram back home haha

Never really figured out what breed she was..my guess was a german shepherd mixed ...um those hot dog dogs? lol

If she had gone because of old age it would have been fine with me..but with the way she went,its tragic..gets me emotional everytime i think of it. Glory definitely didnt not deserve to go through such pain..she didnt want to give up,refused to close her eyes..to lay her head down,stayed so strong

I love her more then than i ever did..watching the life finally leave her body made me break into tears...i love that dog

miss u much glory ..enjoy heaven =)

2009-03-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

Couldn't help myself hahah

LIVERPOOL 4-1 MAN UTD

Four-star Liverpool thrash Utd.. How sweet does that sound! as sweet as my baby!

As Ernest says to all u utd fans..."Thx for beaing so cocky"

I dont mind Utd going on tu win the league but doin the double on utd had its own enjoyment n regained pride

The race for the title is on!

THE KOP IDOLS

Sadly i couldnt copy the pic of gerrard kissing the camera after he had earned and slotted in his penalty LOL

Historical week for the reds..8 goals against Real Madrid n Man Utd..Benitez finally getting it right? haha

2009-03-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

Dying for love,
Crying for truth,
My heart is aching for you.

I don't need a miracle to believe

Its been ages, my blog looks like a one year one post thing LOL so before it completely rots into nothing y not i post a rare one

Just a recollection of the past year great memories =)

climb on mt.kinabalu

the peak

Sabah..btw all are actual pics taken there

Genting

=)

=) baby =)

cant wait for u to be back..

Not too many now..last year was ok..except this year tu be way tougher,blardy AS n A2 exams coming up
Good thing my bday is coming up!n Ghauvi is finally gonna be down for 6 months! im estatic

Anyway im gonna start blogging again, whenever free
time tu study..nerd off tu AS!

amazing =)

2008-02-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

All of us live every single minute of our lives in faith..We believe in things we cant see nor hear or touch..
We feel wind,we see stars,we hear sound..but yet many of us dedicate our lives to something our senses cant experience..
An incontestable question keeps running thru my mind..how did God appear? If the universe was a magnificent creation of God,what was more awesome to create God?..It sounds ridiculous to even ask that but yet its impossible to answer..

The picture above is the whirlpool galaxy,thousand times bigger than our own milky way.One of the most beautiful things i believe God has created..every second a star is born n dies in that swirl of beauty..
PPL from Nasa used the hubble space telescope to see what was in the middle of that whirlpool galaxy..what they found blew their minds,blew mine too

Thats what they found..its up to you to decide what it looks like but it reminds me of jesus on the cross and its so beautiful.
How is it that everything in the solar system is perfectly placed,if the sun was a little closer we would burn to death and if the sun were a little futher we would freeze to death..
We are so small n the universe is infinite..earth would be as small as a pin's tip yet so many of us feel so big..our pride,worst of ppl think they are bigger than God...i feel like like goin on my knees and humbling myself in awe of the beauty of the world,of the universe and the fact that im merely a dust in Gods eyes
It is so amazing how every thing is created. The precision,the divinity,the miracle of it.
The human body is the best example,every single vein has its purpose,every single heart beat is important..there are millions of optic nerves is our eyes,and every nerve has to find its own match before we can see and miraculously it all finds its match in time for when we first open our eyes..Im so speechless when i think of the human body..who created us,who designed us..every animal,every plant,the wind,the seas...i want to know so bad...is it God?.. evolution?we evolved from what and how did that creature appear?

There was a another mind blowing fact..In our body,there is this protien called Laminin

In the human body, we are all made of Trillions and Trillions of cells that compromise our body and all it's intricate parts. What holds this vast body of ours together? Laminin.Laminin is some kind of protein that acts as the glue that holds all of our trillions of cells together.Here is a diagram of what laminin looks like in scientific circles.......

amazing huh,without that we would not be standing,walking nor breathing..what really touches my heart is one of the most important cells in our whole body is the shape of the cross..Do i still have any doubts in God? thats where faith is real in my life..i choose to believe in something i dun see nor hear or can touch..its all thru faith and i feel the long road of faith still awaits me =)

Time

2006-10-31T06:38:00.000-08:00

Your priorities determine how you spend your time,and time is precious. The following statementsmay help you put time in perspective:

To know the value of one year .
. . ask thestudent who failed the final exam.
To know the value of one month
. . . ask themother of a premature baby.
To know the value of one week
. . . ask theeditor of a weekly newsmagazine.
To know the value of one day
. . . ask the wageearner who has six children.
To know the value of one hour
. . . ask the loverswho are waiting to meet.
To know the value of one minute
. . . ask theperson who missed the plane.
To know the value of one second
. . . ask theperson who survived the accident.
To know the value of one millisecond
. . . askthe Olympic silver medalist.

I found this article very interesting n how very true.Especially during exams,u realise how much time u wasted lying around doing nothing while u should be studying n ur results shows it all.heheh...n yes im talkin bout myself :)

Off the top of my mind

2006-10-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

"The most fascinating thing in existence is the peculiar necessity to imagine what is,in fact,real"
These kind of qoutes are made for ppl to think n i did exactly tat.I spent too much time pondering over it but..it just did not make any sense to me.Existence is something that exist or is real n Imagining or imagination is thinking of something that isn't there or in other words,not real.With that,how so is it possible for someone to imagine something real,to imagine something that is happening rite infront ur eyes?
I finally cracked n went to the person hu used it which i shud have done in the first place.V had a lil debate about it but i finally caved in.Apparently,u need to read in context to understand it...haizz.
Ok well apart from that,my skin on my thumb n index finger is peeling..drumming for hours for 5 days can actually be harmfull...but i dun mind,i wud love to do it everyday...I'm passionate bout drumming.I wanna be great,i wanna b up on stage infront a huge audience feeling the adreneline rush,i wan beginners to look up to me...dreams but nothings impossible.Some1 told me once that she felt inspired when i drum,more like a motivation n it was tremendously great to hear.It made me wanna be better n coincidently,it was exactly how i felt towards the my buddie hu tot me drums in the first place.He is actually more of a big brother but that dreadlocked bugger is bloody good...I owes wanted to be as good as him but he keeps getting better!
This hols has been such a breather.I never felt so relaxed in a long time,chillin with friends n for some reason,ive been gettin alot of fabulous news..the hols just keep getting brighter n brighter.A big break from studying,books,stupid skul uniforms n seeing teachers faces
Ok this post has like multiple topics in it..im gonna end b4 i end up toking about the hypocrisy of Mr.President Bush on the Iraq..n ouu,i have a lot of opinions on that!

Shipwreck

2006-10-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

Starfield
I built a fortress

With a hundred thousand faces

I'll keep it safe

With a hundred thousand more

But these masks are wearing thin

As You draw me in

I spent my time

On the empty and the fleeting

I spent my life

On much less than I'd dreamed

But I'm reaching out to you

To make me new

'Cause I am just a beggar here at Your door

I am just a shipwreck here on Your shore

I come empty handed

Ready to see

Your life in me changing who I've been

To who I need to be

You tell me my story

As You sift between the pages

I feel redemption

In the space between each turn

Could You take me in Your arms

And tell it just once more

Could You take me in Your arms

And tell it just once more

Yearning for it to end

2006-10-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

Y is it i feel like drummin even more as the exam inches closer..very weird..the more i study the more my hand itches hehe..im holdin my drum stick in one while my bio book in the other hehe.

Well to make thing worse,my drum stick broke on monday,so i wrapped it in this white tape..cellophene tape tak kuat enuf..N i have to thank sum1 from promising me to get free drum stick for me as a very belated present,thanks ilicia aka mum
Exams = crappiness..im sure 90% of students wud agree..n i reli wanna find the idiot hu sed form 4 is honeymoon year..were u stoned when u sed tat??..im struggling here just tryin not to fail my papers..I HATE chemistry n physic..a real pain in the human crack,just waitin to get it over with..n on with the mamakin,pooling,jamming,futsalling n most importantly drumming!
Realised half of my post are kinda depressing,especially my last post(kinda f* up tat time) which was soo long ago btw..i dun reli write about gud times like when i met with famous musicians,went to rocking concert(being in a mosh pit!),crazy mamak trips,having special outing or trips with friends or even the times i had great achievements...n i noe y i dun rite bout happy moments...i oni write when im in BAD mood..n i dun reli write tat often..n im oni writin this coz i got a request hehe..well i was inspired by the request hehe...i shud rite about my latest trip..the LTC camp..now tat was loads of fun =)..mixed wif gud n seriously bad memories..very messed up
U notice how alot of ppl put so much effort to designin their blog as nice as they can,well they are ppl hu love to write n as u notice mine looks like crap so im stating the obvious here..im not much of a writer..lol

END

2006-06-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

Have u ever felt such love that cud make u fall tu ur knee n cry ur hearts out or such joy tat cud make u laugh for hours....not many cud lift their hands n say yes...
A love tat is so pure n great tat ud wonder how cud one possess it.Imagine u had done sumtin so wrong,u lied,u hurt,u kill n u were bout tu face the penalty but sum1 steps up.His eyes glowing with compassion,he carries ur punishment for u.U cant do anything,ur helpless..ur left standing there watchin him die for u..
U cud say any father wud do tat for his child but wud any father be striped,slashed,whiped 32 times with whip which had nails on it..each time whiped,it wud pierce the body n tear the flesh,pierce by a crown of thorns,nailed,spat n cursed at...shud i reli go on?
Christ paid the penalty for our sins..he took the burden off our backs becoz of the father never ending love for us..ppl dun realise wad he reli did..God is real..Christ is real..the Holy Spirit is real..
I experienced sumtin amzing last week...it changed my life..touched my heart..i had a hunger and an emptiness tat oni He cud fill...a desperation tat oni He cud cure..a wanting tat oni he cud fulfill....n HE DID!..

2006-05-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

Exams suck..To THe Max!..

Sometime ago my friend came over to my house..11pm i think..i was busy studying..he came to collect sumtin n he asked me 'wat r u doin? muka like gonna pengsan'....i sed studyin..
Infront my house tat bugger started laughin his heart out..11pm at nite n the guy is givin out a hyena laugh,at the fact i was studying..then suddenly he stoped n asked 'studyin wad?'..
being very patient,i sed add maths..he started laughin louder..Jeez!

so the next day in skul,i told another friend of mine bout it..she started giggling n says kinda funny oso la u studying....like for heavens sake,how d hell du u think i got straight A's for pmr..
but according to my friend 'the niven i noe doesnt study but scores high marks'..well i guess tats partly true but i do put real effort when i reli need too...im guessin i terset a reputation of being lazy n too playful

exams are goin on at the moment,my mid year to be precise n ive been doin last minute studying again..at the rate im goin in,i think im gonna get a couple of As n yes a couple of 9Gs..
Form 4 is so diff from form 3..there is so much to study,have u seen how long one bleddy chapter from the sejarah n physics book..aiks man!...

I have this other friend..his gf skiped her hari sukan,lied to her parents n went all the way to bukit jalil park to study jus coz its quite there...her parents made her go to skul coz they were scared she wud get a surat amaran..so she had to lie..
But the thing tat ponders me is tat her exam is like another month away..her skul wudnt be tat dumb to put the hari sukan when the exam is closin...
i oso c my friends bringin their books to study in church..those stuff kinda made me kinda gelabah..to c how much effort ppl put in n to compare it with me..wah seperti bumi dengan langit hahah

i think ill end here..no mood d...just wanna wish all my friends gud luck..i just hope i have loads of luck too

2006-04-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

I learned sumtin on humbleness a few days back..n it kinda hit me hard..
k imagine ur great at sumtin,much better than many other n then a younger,less experienced person comes n corrects u at that specific thing...points out ur mistakes n tell u what to do..wudnt u feel offended..that this junior is challeging ur supremecy..
Well it happen to me n to be brutally honest i felt like saying ' ur not as gud as me,u have no rite to say tat'...i noe its very arrogantly sed but tats how i felt at that moment.I am better than tat person(her) n tats a fact but....she was rite....i did make mistakes,mostly stupid mistakes n she spotted it.
When ur at tat situation,u have to view ur options...1.listen to my pride,ask her to bug off n be hated by her or 2.be humble,accept her correction n be wise..I read once in the bible,in proverb, tat if wise person listens to correction may it be from the young or old but a stupid person never admits he's wrong..
Im glad i chose the high road..its so hard to admit tat ur wrong but i did..i realise tat being humble wud be better option..i rather be humble get it right than to be arrogant n get it wrong..i realised tat jus coz ur older doesnt owes mean ur much superior..i realised the only way to improve is to accept the correction..learnin is a never ending process,u cant master sumthing..there is owes room for improvement
If u think about it,it wud be embarassing to have sumone much younger than u teach u sumting tat u think ur quite gud in..but it takes humbleness to do it,it takes humbleness to accept correction especially from sum1 hu is younger
At the end of it,i feel more or else proud of myself...i followed one of the fruits of the spirit...love,joy,peace,patience,longsuffering,...humbleness?..ok i cant remember all of it so sue me..=) FIN

No bravery

2006-04-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

http://nobravery.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

it has the video..images the u.s. army doesnt want u to c
James Blunt - No Bravery

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face.
He has been here.
Brothers lie in shallow graves.
Fathers lost without a trace.
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.
And I see no bravery, No bravery in your eyes anymore.Only sadness.
Houses burnt beyond repair.
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here.
Tracer lighting up the sky.
It's another families' turn to die.
A child afraid to even cry out says,
He has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.Only sadness.
There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
But no one asks the question why,
He has been here.
Old men kneel and accept their fate.
Wives and daughters cut and raped.
A generation drenched in hate.
Yes, he has been here.
And I see no bravery,No bravery in your eyes anymore.Only sadness.

2006-04-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i feel my life is becoming abit to hectic..i noe im oni 16,wad is there to complain about n ppl owes tell me i sleep alot n frequently look blur but tats coz im exhausted.I put my time n effort in too many things,too many commitments

Lets c y im sayin this(my priorities):

My God..i love God n my faith in him,reading the bible,praying,my youth n all the activities my youth has,serving the church
Studies..exams,homework,midyear exam in may haizz
drumming..drum classes,playing for church,youth band,teaching drums(2 ppl)
drama team..constant practices,competition in may
scout..scout training,marching,marching competition in may,camp(end of april)
tuition..no not me takin tuition but me givin tuition,kinda need the extra income
leisure..time to hang with friends,mamak,futsal,hang kai
school..basicly in skul half of the time

so basicly its kinda packed,n coz marchin n drama competitions are in two weeks time,i have intensive pratices.U noe my guess is once u get gud in things u need to put ur commitment in it,its the oni way tat thing is gonna succeed.But the prob occurs is when u put ur commitment into too many things.N the prob gets bigger is when u need to choose between one commitment n another.Its not easy to set ur priorities yet its important

Goppi n sathya(two prefects) actually asked me to be one of em..i did seriously consider it,a prefectianol testimonial n certificate is very valueable but it was a no for me..no time n it wudn't be `me'..

I strive for hols,days i can sleep without any disturbance.Just cant wait for after my mid year exams to finish..by then my marching competition,drama competition n scout camp wud have ended n skul hols(church camp!) wud have started..

jus realise i dun reli have a conclusion for this..well i guess need to pick which is most important n which i want to excel in ..FIN

2006-04-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

As another day passes another memory passes along too.Good or bad memories..things v want to remember or dont..but its really up to us to create the memories v want....
Ive got friends that has done amazing things in their lives..well some even foolish or just plain dumb stuff.Friends my age hu have done "it" more times than u wud imagine,Friends hu are makin it big time..livin up the life of a rocker..
Each of em created those memories,either by hard work n determination or by stumblin over 200 rabbit's foot n horse shoes..jus plain luck.Even my friends hu smoke,hu r planin to smoke,drink n waste all their money on leisure n pleasure..they create their own memories,good or bad
I realise that ppl dun like to remember their bad memories..think about it..can u think of 5 really bad memories,im sure 5 reli gud memories will pop up instead of bad.Its not suprising,y wud u want to remember the bad..ppl dun like to remember falling,being cheated out or scolded at..its the gud times v cherish n smile when v think about it.
I looked back at my own life n theres alot of stuff tat i would certainly love to remember when i grow older.For example Liverpool lifting the champions league crown for the fifth time.Ppl may say im over paranoid n obsessed bout this stuff but to c the team i support celebrate tat victory with such joy n satisfaction tat not many reli understand,it brought a tear from my eye,goosebumps stickin out like crazy...tats certainly a memory i want to bring to my grave...
Or like when i took my pmr n upsr results,gud memories..memories tat i created..times tat im able to feel proud..its definitely great to c shocked faces,hu wud imagine i wud get those results..not even me..Glory to God!
Well the best memories are ur first crush,1st love,1st break up,1st night(hehe) =P n so on..ive experience a couple of the above n its stuff i want to remember,the times ur heart wud pump like crazy jus when u c tat person,times when ur totally lost of words(kepala sudah blank!) when ur in a convo..its totally exillerating
Its up to u to create those memories..i cant wait for wad the future holds..hopefully great memories

2006-04-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

well this is my first post n ill try to make it as interestin as possible =>..
yesterday kinda seriously tiring..8++am kai calls me askin 'wanna go watch v for vendeta o not'..since i had my extra drum class at 2pm in kl plaza so im like y not.
V ended up watchin ice age 2 instead coz V 4 Vendeta kinda clashed with me drum class..sori kai!..ice age 2 was real cool btw..v went to have our lunch(my stomach was stracthin the walls in hunger) met henry,kin weng,ah foo, siong tat those fellas la in mcd's..din join them coz mcd was shyte pack,had lunch at 1902 tat hotdog place thin..
v still sum time left so decide to chill at the arcade with henry n those fellas for a while.."kai wad time is it?".."1.55pm"..alamak have rush pulak
the drum teacher was pullin my leg alot,my drum teacher is an amazing guy n the nicest guy ever..20++ years of drumming experience compared to my 2++ years experience..n he has been thru it all,had his own band n everything
k la so i was about to ciao n i bump into ian at the yamaha music place,the guy is me gud fren from church,20 years old,my ex teacher n literally the coolest fren i ever had..he has conro dreadlock hair,has his own friggin band(ever heard of edge of fire),totally old skul seasoned converse shoes...so i chilled wif him for a while n waited for his class to finish..was planin to go mamak with him n my drum teacher
so were walkin to my teachers car when all of thee sudden david calls,askin where m i la,wad u doin..im like 'y ar?'...david answers "now got worship pratice la then celebration of praise "
im like oh crap,ian n i totally forgot..so v had to ditch our mamak plans n rush to church,v were like practiclly runnin to his car but v reached church in bout 15 min. Well not surprising la,he drives like a crazy nut
runnin up the church stair n yes my jeans falls down..ya la ya la i noe my jeans r daym lose but i like it tat way (note 2 self,wear n belt or atleast boxers!)...ian had a gud time laughin at me tho...the worship leader had to put ian up as the drummer coz there wasnt time to practice with coz i wasnt familiar with the songs..haizz nvm la atleast im playin next week..i think..
v had our dinner(yay kena belanja)..5 min dinner..ian was eatin like he wud die if he took more than 5 mins..cant blame him la,celebration of praise bout to start anytime..
i slept thru most of celebration of praise,got home at nearly 10,my dad had bought me my fav..Burger ayam special ramli la macha! ..went to sleep,sleepin astho i had jus past away or sumtin(damn tired lor)
but among all tat,the highlight of the day was when tat special one msged me =D..mos of u noe hu tat is hahaha

2006-01-28T08:47:00.000-08:00

"If i cud correct my mistakes,i wud correct the mistake of when i started to breathe"..she sed tat..i felt like breakin down when i heard it..coz i felt the same..my heart churns tat i feel tat way n it churns evenmore noeing tat she feels the same..= ( ..it hurts..
My heart feels like its screamin..banging my chest tryin to escape from the torture its facing..it feels like its bleeding..its gettin deeper..bigger..a hole.....i wish u cud c it,without me showing it to u...
its sumtimes jus sucks..when ur hoping for sumtin tat will jus never happen..hoping u wud be accept as sumtin more than wad u are now...accepted as more than friends..but yet it rocks at the same time,when ur eyes are locked with each other..when u feel like ur drownin but ur not strugglin to get up..u jus wanna sink...
Sumtimes my heart takes control of my mind n actions..and tats dangerous coz it can lead to depression n even suicide...but it takes common sense to realise tat being depressed is stupid..Y be down when u have friends tat will owes have ur back..family tat care for u ..activities to fill up ur life n most importantly God lookin down on u..u soon realise tat theres nothin to be sad about...until u c her not acknowledgin u the way u want her too...love hurts..it hurts bad